Today I’m talking with Debbie Terry, an author, speaker, and survivor of domestic abuse. She’s the host and owner of the Restoration Warrior Women’s Conference where she gathers women from all walks of life to share their stories and faith and help others overcome their obstacles. Today, she’s here to speak loud about her new book and offer support for other survivors who have yet to step out from their situations.
Speaking Up After Trauma
Debbie explains that she wasn’t aware of the extent of her own abuse because of the love she had for her husband at the time. After a nasty divorce and the separation from her children, her journey in healing began. She explains that factors such as pride and shame encouraged her to stay in her situation but ultimately had to accept that the other individual wasn’t going to change.
Debbie is now remarried to the love of her life, but she describes that she at first pushed him away because she wasn’t used to the level of love and treatment he was giving her. The scars and layers from her abuse ran deep and she had to go back, with God’s help, and heal them one at a time. As her husband says, she had to “let it go like water off a duck’s back.” She did this by listening to that small inner voice and respecting it as well as her own judgment.
How to Choose Forgiveness
Debbie says that her true healing began when she realized that she couldn’t control what others did. Their actions were not a reflection of her but of themselves. Forgiveness is the biggest piece of healing, in her opinion. When you’re able to forgive a person that hurt you, you’re giving yourself freedom.
A friend told Debbie, “You can either be bitter or you can be better,” and she knew that she wanted the latter, so she chose forgiveness for her abuser rather than holding resentment. She instructs listeners to forgive and then stop revisiting and move forward. Like pruning a rose, letting go of those wilted pieces make room for new growth.
Sharing Her Story
Debbie’s latest book is called “When Love Wasn’t Enough: Because I Loved Him.” Her book was published in March, but she has been working on it (with God’s guidance, she says) for several years. She says that God encouraged her to write the story, and though she initially ignored the call, writing it was a healing process for her.
Debbie prioritizes helping and connecting with others and hopes that the readers of her book feel seen and know they aren’t alone. She started her women’s conference for similar reasons, which is going on its 5th year and shares the details on her website. Debbie hopes listeners feel encouraged to pray and discover what their next steps are in starting a new journey after trauma and abuse.
Listen in to hear more about the effects of alienation in divorce and families, finding the right person, and what future plans Debbie has for the next five years.
Resources Mentioned
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Connect with Debbie on her website
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